Im dating my ex boyfriends best friend

Your email address will not be published. Now that you know that you really want to do this, you need to realistically assess the situation. Think back — how did your relationship with your ex end? Was it on friendly terms or did you have an ugly breakup? Do you still talk to each other regularly or have you ceased all contact? This information is important, because it makes the difference between needing to tell him about your new-found interest in his best friend or not. Another thing — how serious was the relationship with your ex , to begin with? Were you in a serious, long-term relationship which you agonizingly decided to end, or was it just a short stint during which you realized you were just not that into each other and mutually called it quits?

If things were serious, however, you need to watch out, because he will most likely be a little hurt, or at least, confused. This brings me to my next point: This question is important for a number of reasons: It helps you assess whether or not you would be compatible — were you friendly? Did you have stuff in common?

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Did you get along well? This is the perfect opportunity to look at it objectively and decide, based on past experience, if you make sense together and if you actually like him, as a person. It might lead to some trouble with the ex — for example, he might think that the two of you fancied each other the whole time or that you were together behind his back, cheating on him, etc. This may help your ex accept your new relationship and also avoid ruining the friendship between the best friend and your ex. Accept that your ex may not be okay with the relationship.

Though you may try your hardest to get your ex-partner to understand and accept your new relationship, it may not always be possible. Your ex-partner may be too upset by the relationship and have a hard time being okay with your new romance.

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Your ex may also be angry that their best friend became involved with someone from their past. You may need to learn to accept that having your new relationship means letting go of your relationship with your ex-partner. Over time, your ex may come around and accept the situation. But you cannot force your ex to do this. Avoid comparing the best friend to your ex. To create a healthy relationship with the best friend, you should avoid comparisons between the best friend and your ex. Your relationship is not a competition and the best friend has different qualities than your ex.

Comparing the best friend and your ex will just lead to conflict and tension in your new relationship.


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Maybe he tends to plan more intimate dates at home, and your ex would go all out with an expensive dinner for date night. Rather than compare the two, focus on the positives of each approach. Then, remind yourself that you are with the best friend because he does things differently and offers different things than your ex did.

Trash talking your ex, in front of the best friend or with other friends, will only create more tension between your ex and the best friend. Your hurtful words about your ex may make your new partner upset.

How to Date Your Ex-Boyfriend’s Best Friend

This could then lead to tension and conflict between the two of you. Allow the best friend to spend time with your ex. For the sake of your new relationship, you should try to be okay with your new partner spending time with your old partner. Your new partner may also miss spending time with his best friend, despite the circumstances. You should encourage them to spend time together so it does not seem like you are trying to be controlling or selfish in the relationship.

Making an effort to spend time together as a group can help to normalize the situation and allow your ex to get used to your new relationship. Be respectful of your ex's feelings at social events. If you still share mutual friends with your ex, you and your new partner will eventually end up at social events where your ex is present. When and if this happens, you should try to be respectful towards your ex's feelings and be considerate of your ex when you are around him with the best friend.

This may mean not showing too much physical affection with the best friend when you are around your ex, such as holding hands, kissing, or cuddling together. Displays of affection could make your ex uncomfortable or upset, especially if you recently broke up and are now seeing his best friend. You should also try to be inclusive of your ex, especially if your ex and his best friend are still close.

This may mean including your ex in social get togethers with other friends or being okay if your ex hangs out with you and the best friend. Over time, the situation should normalize and hopefully your ex will get used to your relationship with the best friend. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Getting a Date Print Edit Send fan mail to authors. Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy.

GG Geo Grew Dec 18, I am good friends with his best friend though, and I like him. FK Fayth Kootz Aug 7, More success stories All success stories Hide success stories.

Can a Friend Date Your Ex?

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